Sales, marketing, leadership...all require that we get someone to do something they don't want to do - to change what their doing - to transform some aspect of their work or their life. There are a plethora of books, management training and consultant practices designed to help you manage, or lead change - and yet most people and organizations aren't very good at it.
Soren Kierkegaard once wrote, "...in order to save men's souls, one must first seduce them." Perhaps we need to improve our ability to "seduce" or "persuade" others?
But we have entire disciplines and industries dedicated to persuasion. Marketing is supposed to work magic - to persuade the masses to buy something they don't want. But how is it that companies can spend millions of dollars on award-winning advertising, but not sell more products? US auto manufactures are spending more on advertising today than they did when they had a commanding market share. The best ads from the best advertising firms only seem to work some of the time, even though advertisers are well trained, are following all the rules of good advertising, and have produced some of the best design, drama, music and humour in our culture today. Insurance ads can make me cry pretty reliably, but I still won't buy their annuities.
Why do public speakers, when they follow all the rules given to them in public speaking courses, still bore their audiences? It's difficult to stay awake when a speaker actually follows the template that we all had to learn in our high school and college public speaking courses.
How can a salesman, trained in the art of closing a sale, still be ineffective? When I was a salesman, I remember a sales manager giving up on explaining how to close in any scientific way. Most of the time he attributed it to "magic" when someone pulled it off.
The best professionals all follow the rules that they were given for persuading others...but so few pull it off. Could it be that they are following the wrong rules?
I think so.
Allow me here to map out a few rules that I have discovered that are very useful for "seducing men's souls". This is by no means comprehensive...and I find myself discoving new "rules" all the time - whether from my clients or from observation.
These rules can help a clumsy speaker persuade more effectively than a slick, polished orator. These rules can help a company create a powerful brand identity and grow sales without spending millions of dollars on advertising. And most important, these rules can help a leader persuade people to follow, to change, to transform - even if the leader doesn’t look or sound like a charismatic leader.
Seven New Rules of Persuasion
- Be what you are.
Pretending you’re something that you are not is not only dishonest; it undermines your ability to persuade. A speaker with a poor vocabulary that tries to impress with “big words” will appear less intelligent. A speaker that says, “I’m not that bright, but here’s what I know,” creates credibility. A company that promotes itself with impossibly grand or superlative statements can seem disingenuous, while a direct, honest, and simple statement can become far more inspirational – if it’s real.
But it’s difficult to communicate what you are if you don’t know what that is. Much of my time as a consultant is spent helping companies and individuals understand their strengths, weaknesses and differentiators. Understand - then be what you are.
Persuade authentically. - Tell the truth
One should be honest, not only because it’s the right thing to do, but because it is more persuasive. Few believe a person who only talks about how great they are; everyone believes someone who can communicate their own limitations.
And the limitations can usually demonstrate an attractive strength. For example, “Our airline only serves peanuts, but the flight will be inexpensive.”
Persuade honestly. - Differentiation Means Different
It’s generally understood that differentiation helps clarify value; that customers need to know how you, your product or vision is different and perhaps better than the alternatives. In practice, however, most communicate how similar they are to others. This often happens when a company or person doesn’t understand what makes them different, or when say what they think their audience wants to hear. That’s why, just as in rule #1, it’s essential to understand who you are and what makes you different.
Differences are persuasive because they stand out, because they draw attention, because when making a choice between similar options, only the differences are important.
Persuade differently. - One Thing
A speech, an advertisement, a sales pitch – should always be about One Thing, because that is all your potential listener can act on or remember at any one time. Multiple themes diffuse the communication and its effect.
The temptation “to educate” or to communicate every detail of a subject must be avoided at all costs. Instead, select the most persuasive thesis, and then support that thesis with three of the most persuasive facts.
Persuade single-mindedly. - “The good, if brief, twice good; the bad, if little, less bad.”
The above rule was actually formulated by the seventeenth century Jesuit priest and philosopher, Baltasar Gracian. It speaks for itself.
Persuade briefly. - Lather, Rinse, Repeat…as Needed
This rule was lifted from the back of a shampoo bottle, but also applies to persuasion. The greater a change one asks people to make, the more often they will have to be exposed to and reflect upon the persuasive argument. But don’t just say the same thing over and over again. If someone hears an idea from multiple perspectives, in different contexts, and at different times, they are more likely to take that idea on as their own.
Persuade repeatedly. - Give credit away
The most persuasive idea is the one we come up with ourselves. If that is the case, the most effective persuader will work to make everyone believe it is their own idea. Holding on to credit for a great idea is not as important as getting people to do what you want them to do.
Persuade humbly.
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